Conscious or Compulsive?

I'd like to think I was a conscious eater; however, the truth is that my blood type is not the only thing "Type A" about me. I have a tendency to be very compulsive about many things, including food. I only venture off of the blood type diet a handful of times each year, and each time I am reminded why I don't eat foods that are not compatible with my body. Furthermore, when I'm losing weight, I write down everything I eat before I eat it, and I measure everything I consume.

I often wish that I could simply "listen" to my body, feed my body what it "tells" me it needs, and stop this mild obsession with what I'm eating. Unfortunately, I find that I cannot do this, and the more I try to do this, the more impulsive my relationship with food becomes. Just yesterday I was driving to work with a peanut butter and honey sandwhich (my dinner for the night) sitting in the seat next to me. I wasn't hungry, but I could not stop thinking about that sandwhich. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted it. I picked it up, placed it on my lap, and I thought about it for a few more moments. "Just a few bites," I told myself, and I proceeded to unwrap it and tear off a piece to munch on. I checked in with my stomach and noticed I was full, and then I found myself tearing off another piece.

By the time I got to work, the sandwhich was long gone, and my belly was bloated. "I haven't exceeded my caloric intake for the day, and I won't eat again tonight," I justified. Even though this justification was true, I still felt really bad about my behavior.

Why had I done this? Why didn't I wait? Why did I eat the WHOLE thing?

The only answer I can come up with is because I have been overeating the majority of my life, and it's a feeling I am addicted to. Addiction comes from a Latin word that means "devoted habits," and I am very devoted to the habit of trying to control what I consume, ignoring that attempt, and feeling remoresful in the aftermath. Those of you who have been thin your entire life probably cannot relate; however, if this cycle was not addictive, there would be no weight issue in America.

My favorite psychologist, Boulder's own Christine Caldwell, PhD, has developed a theory about healing addictive cycles like this; she calls it "The Moving Cycle." The idea is that "the only way out of addiction is through it," and the way through it is with Awareness, Owning, Acceptance, and Action. In order to make a shift, a person needs to move through these four states of being as needed. Every slip is another opportunity to become aware, own your behavior, accept what you have done, and take action to shift your energy.

Perhaps I'm not as conscious about my relationship with food as I'd like to be, but my hope is that the next time my mind insists that I eat something my body does not want or need I will consciously choose an action that is not part of this devoted habit.

HEALTHY TIP:
When the weather is warm, we all want a cool beverage to quench our thirst. My favorite healthy drink tastes like lemonade but has no calories or sugar. I take a 16oz cup and fill it with crushed ice, then I pour in 1 T of "Santa Cruz Organic Lemon Juice" (the only ingredient is lemon juice--not from concentrate) and then fill the cup with water. For some reason, it tastes better than a fresh lemon squeezed in a cup, but it has the same benefits. Drinking a glass of lemon water each day can help with digestion, liver functioning, mucus, and much, much more. Use a straw to spare your teeth enamel.